Resources for unlearning heteronormativity (WIP)
A work in progress bibliography on unlearning heteronormativity and compulsory heterosexuality. This is part of a longer project on unlearning.
No paywall, no eurocentrism. (why paywalls are immoral)
as always: #citeblackwomen
Critically reflect on who you cite. Whose words you amplify. Whose words you make matter. Who you give authority and who you silence. Whose ideas are considered authoritative. Whose ideas are the authorities stealing.
Acknowledge the sexism and racism in academia. Learn more from Cite Black Women, Shailja Patel, and Priyamvada Gopal.
Heteronormativity is the name given to the belief that heterosexuality is the social default. It is based on the gender binary, i.e. there are only two genders. It assumes that a heterosexual union is the only valid union and ‘others’ non-traditional unions. It makes the society revolve around man-woman relationships and premises social hierarchy on the basis of who wears the pants in a relationship (gross!). Heteronormativity is based on gender roles, implying that some tasks and responsibilities are inherently feminine or masculine, and it would be unacceptable to reverse the roles.
Heteronormativity affects social relations between men and women. For instance, several schools segregate boys’ and girls’ activities and socialisation based on the premise that any boy-girl contact will be necessarily romantic or sexual. Do you remember a popular movie asking the question, “can a man and a woman just be friends?” Think of heteronormativity as socially approved, promoted, and mandated fuck-zoning.
It also determines the validity of milestones in one’s life. In a patriarchal society, heteronormativity pushes people to view a heterosexual marriage as the ultimate goal in life. This is called heteronormative temporality. That’s a big term, but just think of people in their late 20s suddenly exclaiming they must get married, have kids, and settle down, (since this is what they are supposed to do).
As a matter of policy, the belief centres and prioritises heterosexual man-woman unions. Marriage and tax laws give preference to traditional man-woman unions based on such gender roles. For example, the drafting of a law may explicitly or implicitly imply that a man would be the bread-winner and a woman the home-maker and child-rearer. This can also be seen in policies on spousal pay or parental leave. Heteronormativity presumes and dictates socially defined roles for men and women. Any transgression is socially and (sometimes) legally punished.
Heteronormativity is dangerous and violent. It assigns identity and punishes people for being different. But heteronormativity is learnt and internalised through family, society, religion, community, media, law, and taught history. The goal of this project is to unlearn this harmful belief. Any act of unlearning must begin with acknowledgement of the existence and impact of the ideology. Heteronormativity is so ingrained in our culture that we ought to examine our language and social relations and notice how they shape our norms and behaviours. We need to understand why heteronormativity is entrenched in most societies and use this awareness to unlearn and dismantle systems of oppression.
below is a list of resources to aid us in acknowledgement, awareness, and deconstruction of this belief:
The Perils Of Heteronormativity: How Inclusive Is Our Definition Of Sex?
This article by Leah Koonthamattam for Feminism in India discusses heteronormativity in pornography and colonial invalidation of queerness in India. It acknowledges that the Indian understanding of sex and intimacy centres the male experience. It hints at the hierarchy of different sex acts, but does not go into detail.
Unlearning Gender Roles
The Red Elephant Foundation’s Vaishnavi Pallapothu writes, “same-sex relationships are still understood primarily in feminine/masculine terms of attraction.” People make moral and social judgments based on a prescribed ‘normal’ and one of the ways of challenging it is by starting a conversation on harmful gender stereotypes.
I would also like to study my old professor’s research on Legal recognition of homosexual orientation in the countries of the world and look at queer rights activism in countries with the most recent decriminalisation and marriage-equality laws (aspirational).
*I’ll be adding to this list as I research. Please feel free to make suggestions.